Additional Pet Peeves

I frequently read things people write on their personal profiles, in e-mails exchanges, and in inter-office memos. I'm not a stickler for using grammar so correct that I end up sounding like a stiff by saying "To whom are you speaking" rather than "Who are you talking to?".

Regardless, in written and verbal communication, there are a few things people should have down cold by the time they get out of junior high. If you are guilty of any of the following offenses, I won't blame you for thinking me a language nazi - but be advised that those of us who know better will likely perceive you in a light that leaves something to be desired as far as intellect is concerned.

1) Confusing you're and your. I shouldn't have to explain this.

2) Confusing there, their, and they're. Once again, no explanation needed.

3) Saying "Me and (insert name or pronoun)" as the subject of your sentence. You wouldn't ever say "Me going to the movies." right?

4) Trying to sound like you understand the last rule in saying something like "The speaker was looking directly at my friends and I." Once again, you wouldn't say "He was looking at I."

5) Misspelling words like loose for lose and too for to. If it has less than six letters, you have no excuse for the confusion.

6) Not having a clue on how to use the apostrophe. Writing it's incorrectly admittedly can be confusing. I borrowed the following rule explanation from this site: Just remember two points and you’ll never make this mistake again. (1) “it’s” always means “it is” or “it has” and nothing else. (2) Try changing the “its” in your sentence to “his” and if it doesn’t make sense, then go with “it’s.”

Also, trying to make something plural NEVER requires an apostrophe. Those are not your CD's, and it is sad but true, your parent's don't love you if you spell them that way.

And finally, these are the ones that don't bother me as much, but still should be known by high school:

7) Confusing could have, would have, should have, with could of, would of, should of... if you don't know which one is correct, you have labeled yourself as inept in your mother tongue.

8) Not knowing the difference between lie/lay, effect/affect, then/than. Learn it once and get it over with. People are hanged, pictures are hung. (Don't start with the dirty jokes.)

Feel free to analyze me for trying to feel intellectually superior with this post in order to compensate for my insecurities, hidden and obvious. It's true, I actually do feel smarter by making some people look dumb, and like George Costanza, I'm slowly discovering that brutal honesty sometimes does a better job at getting us what we were trying to get all along through deception.